What happens when you start to like a girl? I mean, really LIKE a girl.
Typically, it goes a little something like this…
First, you want to spend more time with her. Then, as your feelings continue to grow, you grow more and more attached to her.
You think about her all the time. You want to kiss her. Take her to bed. Turn her into a girlfriend.
You get so caught up in how much you like this girl, you don’t want to screw things up. So you get nervous. You get insecure. You end up jealous and even possessive.
When she doesn’t text you, you imagine her out with someone else. If she goes out and doesn’t invite you, it must mean she’s giving her number out to a bunch of other men.
So what do you do? You try to “lock down” a future with her. And that’s a huge mistake.
Your nervousness and insecurity causes you to get more “clingy”. You try to get her to commit to plans. You start telling her how much you care about her. You try to get her to reveal her feelings for you.
And what does she do? She grows more and more distant.
So how do you fix it? What’s the solution?
You have to live in the moment when you’re with her. Your sole focus should be on having as much fun as possible and putting a smile on her face.
But it doesn’t stop there…
So let’s take it a step further, and talk about something I learned from my buddy Christian, author of the GFAS program.
Christian has a saying that goes like this…
“Live in the moment. Flirt with the future.”
I’ll let Christian explain…
When you’re with a girl, you’re ALWAYS living in the moment. You have as much fun with her as possible, and you trust that… if you do so… she’ll be as excited to spend more time with you as you are with her.
But you ARE going to “flirt with the future.”
In other words, you’re going to drop little hints of stuff that you’re doing… and stuff that she should do with you… but you’re going to mention them so casually that she won’t know if you’re even being serious about it.
For example, if you’re talking about your favorite pizza place in the city…
“Wait, you haven’t been to Artichoke Pizza? It is SO amazing. We’re totally going there next time we hang out. They actually take Artichoke dip, mix it with cheese and bake it onto a deep dish pizza. Where have you been that could possibly top that??”
Notice – a very subtle mention of “next time we hang out.” But there was no attempt to confirm it. In fact, you’re so casual and confident that there will, in fact, be a “next time” that she’ll feel even more attraction towards you.
Here’s another example.
“So you’ve never tried clay pigeon shooting? It’s so much fun, I’ll have to take you sometime. Have you ever tried to shoot a gun, period?”
Notice how casual you are when you say this. Very confident assumption that you’re going to take her to do something… then you move right on to ask her a question.
“You like Dazed and Confused too? I thought I was the only one! Ok, we totally need to do a movie marathon. What are some of your other favorite movies?”
Notice – you’re FLIRTING with the future. Touch and go. A casual suggestion to do a movie marathon… then right back into another question.
When it comes to turning a girl into your girlfriend, this is one of the most powerful and attractive things you can do.
Well, it forces you to look for commonalities with the girl, and talk about things that you’re into, so that’s a great start.
Then, it subtly demonstrates that you’re confident in the fact that – if you want to – you can see her again.
Trust me, women notice this.
And most importantly, it creates “future memories” of stuff that the two of you are going to do together.
Her brain fills up with images of having an awesome time with you, doing all sorts of fun stuff.
She knows it’s going to be fun because you always live in the moment when you’re with her.
And because you’re not needy or trying to “overconfirm” your plans, she wonders if you even mean all of this stuff… which makes her wonder if you even really like her…
… and at that point, the tables are turned, and SHE’S the one who’s going to try to lock YOU down.
By the time I get to a second date with a girl, we usually have a list, twenty items long, of stuff that I’d casually suggested we do together. And as long as I’m having fun with her and she’s having fun with me, I know we’re going to keep spending time together.
When you “live in the moment, flirt with the future” you are going to have such a huge advantage over other guys, even if they’ve got money, looks or a chiseled body. It’s truly the quickest shortcut to her heart, and getting her to think of you as a boyfriend.
It hasn’t been easy to figure this stuff out, but once I cracked the code, dating become fun and getting a girlfriend became easy. If you’re a single guy who’s struggling with girls the way I used to, then I know your frustration and I can’t wait to give you everything you need to get this problem handled.